Friday, December 19, 2008

I don't want tomorrow to come.

Two years ago, on December 20th, my wonderful neighbor called me in the hospital.  She had already called to congratulate me on the birth of my third child, Mr. Mischief.  Now she was calling with some really bad news, and I made her promise not to hang up the phone.

Ms. Bellie and Mr. Stinky were each with a set of Grandparents so that they could attend the last days of school, and proceed with their normal duties while their mother gave birth and recuperated.  Hubby was at work, because there was no need for him to be at the hospital with all the wonderful nurses looking after us, when he could be better suited helping out once we were home. 

The second Phone Call came from Ms. Sandy, our glorious neighbor, to let me know our house was on fire.  At the time, I thought this was the worst of the worst and nothing could ever be more awful on this day.

I was wrong.
Last year, on December 20th, there wasn't a phone call; there was me, sitting at the end of Ms. Sandy's hospital bed, telling my beloved friend that she was dying from a horrific cancer called Lymphoma.  She knew, before I was able to tell her, yet still, she needed to hear the words, and so I spoke.

Ms. Sandy was loved by so many people.  She worked to help children overcome so many different obstacles in their lives, and she worked to help all mothers love, encourage, and support their children.

Tomorrow, I want to sleep all day long, because if I am asleep nothing bad can happen.  right??  but I can't sleep.  my children need me.  my family needs a mother.  and most importantly, Ms. Sandy would expect me to be as strong tomorrow as I was last year, and the year before.

I don't want tomorrow to come.  The date brings me to tears.  It doesn't matter how good today was, and today WAS AWESOME!!!!  tomorrow for me is full of sadness and sorrow. 
 I want my friend back.  


Anonymous said...

No one should fear any day and maybe it will take another year or two before you can live a Dec. 20th and reflect on the memories in a positive light and give thanks for the opportunity to have known such a wonderful person. Stay strong.

dizzy said...

I miss her, too.